"Eeeewww"

While in the bathtub tonight....

Toddler: "Mommy, 'Sera's' poopy."

Me: "No she's not.  She is fine."

Toddler: "MOMMY! 'Sera's' poopy. (bends over and sniffs his baby sister's bottom,) "EEWW!!!, 'Sera' poopy"

Me: Picks up baby sister to sit her on the toilet in order to humor the toddler...drops baby sister through the potty seat and into the toilet.  Major Mommy fail.

"Mommy, I need dis"

Somehow in the past week my toddler has developed an unquenchable desire for E V E R Y T H I N G!!!  Today: "Mommy I need dis" when we were at the store and he wanted some kind of treat.  "Mommy I need dis" when we are at a friend's house and he wanted their toys. "Mommy I need dis" the disgusting rubber band he found on the floor at Office Depot.  "Mommy I need dis" when I just went to check on him after he has been in bed for a half hour and he is holding a braided belt high up over his head. 

And yes, for some reason we still have the early 90's braided belts in our house.

"WIS-EN!"

Tonight, while in the tub, my 2 year old and 10 month old engaged in a vicious battle for World Champion of Splash Fest 2013.  After the third time I said "No!"  My 2 year old got one more splash in, then took his little sister's face in between his two small hands and said "WOOK AT ME!  WIS-EN!  NO!  ok? NO!"  Having a toddler is like having free TiVo for your own mannerisms and actions.  

"GO TO 'WERK'!"

"NO MOMMY!  Get in car.  Go to 'Werk'!" 

Not the reaction I was expecting when I said it was Mommy's last day of work before being home all summer.

And so it begins...

It is the last day of the semester...9 more hours until summer vacation.  I lay in bed and relish in this thought: 3 whole months with my children!  Thirty minutes of screaming and fighting later I am thinking "3 WHOLE months with my children?!!"  

Clearly frazzled and late for work, I make a final attempt to dress my toddler (which actual resembles a championship wrestling match).  When the final sock is on, the hair is halfway combed, and the teeth are somewhat brushed (which means the toothbrush at least made it into his mouth today), I sweep him up and rush downstairs. While gathering the final bags, shoes, and bottles I start the mad-dash for the car and my very insightful toddler stops me and says,

 "Wet's Eat Cake Mommy!"